This letter is long over due, but in a very interesting twist, perhaps timely relevant. I refuse to believe that our noisy and rough neighbours have an idea where you are, and that they will benefit from that dine in any way possible. They could not contain Al shabaab, surely, they cannot contain us – me and you.
How are you? How have you been? You know, i have long desired to ride on Airforce One, so when i heard that you were about to order a boeing, you should have seen my excitement. a private jet, is surely one way to get closer to that dream. I wonder, what is Uganda’s airforce one called? ekitaaguruuro? naa, anyway, those guys have more words for cows than for technology!
Anyway, i wanted to write to you, so you could toss me one of those blank cheques of yours. See am a decent guy, i work and i live, and am not desperate nor as greedy as those USPA fellows. They increased their sitting allowance – i hear – , only the meetings were over.
Last night, i had a dream, imagine – Brian & Ezra -the name, on a door post like they do in Europe, except this would be right here in Kampala. And these guys would not tell the difference between a label and an address of operation. Anyway, thats abit off. Here are my real issues:
i will be 50, before i get my NSSF cash – quickest way to get it is to either get onto that plane you promised, or to die. the honour of a child means that i will live. so while i do, it will pain me to know that my NSSF cash would buy me one of those jomayi plots and quite easily get me half way the building. Because i will no longer be paying rent, i will be able to pay back a small loan to complete. But these guys seem to have better use for my money, and right now, they would rather i live on pea nuts!
Thats where you come in. With your blank cheque, i will be able to actually wipe my rent bill clear, increase my savings, and we would be on the first steps to that label/jet whichever you prefer first.
See i also hate Ms Kagina, and her honchos, you should see my PAYE – if i actually donated it to a select charity every month, Uganda would be far better off.
Other things i could do, lets see –
Start up a little company, whose ground work i have already done here and imagine how we would like to do what Shuttleworth did to Bill Gates? Only this time its, Brian and Ezra. 🙂 Actually, Brian AND Ezra, sounds really nice.
Eh, by the way, we missed you in the elections. Uganda coined a new phrase, Feb 2011 fresh: Election Commercialization! I told them to wait for me and you, we will help them with the DEFINITION. Mpekoni doesn’t quite cut in the Urban Dictionary, but the name Ezra, combined with Brian, ha? Force to reckon with.
Anyhow, so when do we meet, i fear cameras, so i recently bought shades like yours. and i also do not tuck in my shirt anymore – one thing i sure need to work on is build. if i can get a little taller, and more muscular, then kiwedde! me and you will be the hottest male duo in kampala.
Let me get back to this ka-job, i guess its better to keep it as i wait for your phone call. Tapping? Waaa, am a linux guru, my phone aint tapped, not that easily atleast.
Your future Brian & Ezra Manager,
Now that elections are done with, and election observers from allover the world have not captured my case, i thought to come out and issue a notice, of intent to sue the following parties, with regard to electoral malpractice.
Issues: On February 17th, at 935pm, I received a call from a certain 077777777 asking me to vote for “omusajja owe’ kikofiira” literary – the man with the hat. The caller identified himself as mzee, and spoke with the characteristic tone of a man from a western Uganda tribe, he used many languages.