The Ten-Trillionaire Televangelist
By Robert Winkler Burke
One day a televangelist appeared on the scene,
He was handsome, charismatic, lean, not mean.
He said, Hello World! Give me your tithes!
He broadcast a wild show, it was quite a ride.
To one hundred-forty nations his show was sent,
From one hundred-forty nations came tithes’ ten percent.
At that time the world’s income was one hundred trillion,
And, by golly, he received ten-thousand billion!
Ten-thousand billion was his wonderful income,
Which was ten trillion, give or take a million.
As he had more cash than any known government,
Ambassadors from the US and China were sent.
Please help us, oh televangelist, they asked of him,
Would you buy us an aircraft carrier, or moon landing?
Our nations are broke, said ambassadors of the world,
Build us a freeway, or school, or tractor for field!
All the world’s excess cash has gone to you,
What, oh great man of God, with it will you do?
The world was quiet that day, waiting to hear,
What the richest man of God would say sincere.
But he said, Sorry to inform you, oh ambassadors,
I spent it all on myself, and perfume for my whores.
Did you think I’m not subject to the maxim,
Power corrupts: It did with my tithe taxing!
Don’t blame me for wasting all the world’s wealth,
To stop waste, oh world, keep your money yourself!
But honestly and quite frankly, since the world is so cotton-picking gullible,
I’ve decided to now become the world’s first quadrillion evangelist lovable!
PS: what do you think?