Baby On Board

We’ve seen this before, on the back screen of a trendy young mother’s new car. It’s part love, part snobbish! But it works, it prepares us. We assume that you already have too much to deal with, we cant help but wonder why you’ve decided to bring it on the road. But that, right there, is why it works, we excuse you in subconscious indulgence.

But this is a different kind of baby – he is Nigerian. Destination? Lagos! His journey started in Dubai, over KQ, wait, to be exact, and I quote, a large KQ aircraft. His journey includes a brief stay at JKIA and viola, he is now on a “small plane”.

This is by no means a small plane – 737 300 carries 116 passengers with a max take off weight of almost 62 n half tons thrusting 22 thousand pounds at 38000 feet. But then again, KQ has a way of making you feel this plane is small. For once, I have a clear understanding of what flying coach really is – sardines might swim more gracefully.

So burly bald baby walks in from the back, heavy Nigerian accent, and its clear being on the end of the queue, he’s unfortunate to have where to place his clearly humongous hand luggage. Yeah, you know whats coming next – a Nigerian movie…

This flight is already delayed – its past 6 and we have not taxied. Am beginning to think today I lost my flying mojo. I always keep time, until other people come in play. The plane we are using was delayed from Luanda in Angola – due to God knows what.

Which was a blessing in disguise itself – because a certain Embraer 190 could not make a 55minute flight across the pond, because there were security clearances that delayed to come in. Which was ironic considering that I was the 2nd last flight to get onto that flight.

Now I repeat, that was not my fault, nor my style – I partnered with a man who prefers to take his time. Laying myself at the mercy of this gentleman led me to leave Kampala, at 130pm, knowing 24hrs earlier that if I did not make 230pm, there was every possibility that this flight would leave. If you have driven thru Kampala, by the lunch hour, you would know what this means: 135 – kabalagala, 145 – Makindye, 155 Makindye. 2Pm – Kibuye, 215 – Seguku, 220 – Nkumba, 229 – Airport Parking Lot.

Is your Medical Insurance a Benefit?

Following a few changes within the structure and administration of my current Health Insurance Provider, i have had to ponder over the issue of medical benefits that companies afford to employees.

The golden question remains – Is your medical insurance a benefit? Is it? Really?

In a typical african setting, who really came up with the concept of 4 Biological Children? Aren’t these the same health providers whose premises are littered with Family Planning messages? So who is fooling who, when you claim to offer me medical cover for 4 biological children, and at the same time discourage me from having many children – because “its not wise”…

Which is important, that the medical cover is for 3 vitally important people of my family or 4 Biological children – half of them usually presumed? Even when i get them, all 4 of them, it will take me, atleast 8 years, if i follow the advise pinned all-over the hospital walls. In 6 or 4 of those 8 years, shouldn’t my medical benefits go to my ailing mother, or my bed-ridden brother?

Which is it that you are really giving – or that of which I am really a beneficiary? If its medical cover, for me and my immediate family, since when did you want to count my immediate family – in a country where the average mother gives birth to 7, 4 is not a bad count. But now you go ahead and want to list them? Seriously? Isnt the numbers restriction enough for you to have control on who benefits from this benovelent gift of yours? Do you really have to specify who?

So I am married, with 2 children, and i will adopt 2 more when the time comes. From a numbers perspective, every such employee who has a footprint of 5 extra persons, i believe is a large strain on the resources of any medical insurance. Certainly Joe who is single and desperately suicidal only accesses the medical insurance fund once in a forlon blue moon. Such a Joe is a better employee in the numbers game. Infact, assuming Joe got married and had one child, if we would really like to save money – we might encourage Joe to consider a Vasectomy. Bang. Sealed. No further “costs” for Joe and family.

And Jane? Well lets just keep her till she gets married, but until then, she leaves a more palatable footprint.

If you really want to cut on costs, then reduce the foot print. Pure and Simple. But if you really want to give a benefit, then tis enough to say how many you are willing to sponsor, and that’s all that really matters!!! Now that’s a benefit.

Wait, would you like me to contribute to such a benefit? Certainly, one good turn deserves another! As much as it would be great if you gave wholly, I can understand, and even accomodate it that you need me to contribute. So i will make a contribution, a whole hearted one. I will support you, as you support many of us. Afterall, this is a benefit, and God blesses us, so that we can be a blessing to other people. 

So is it ok, for me to know the monetary value of my medical benefits? This is an ethically grey area. If you dont want me to know, its perhaps because you are giving the benefit – in kind – but if you are indeed dishing out cash on a monthly basis, it would be great for you to share this. Perhaps the medical bill generated by employee x this month is a result of a problem that we can help with back at home – food and substance contamination.

I know, it seems intrusive to suggest that your boss might send the janitor over to help you clean up, but here’s what i’d say – where is the “charity begins at home” in “corporate social responsibility”? Does it make sense for you to continue to pay an abnormally high bill for the same employee and yet he sits perched, and somehow considers it none of our business why tis always his kids and family with malaria? What if all you need is some Doom and Mosquito nets? Or perhaps, a work-mate knows about a free house that’s not in that mosquito infested swamp you call a neighbourhood?

So if we agree, that to an extent, i need to know what my own benefit equates to – annually – and to get a report on the usage thereof, then perhaps we have to be prepared to answer Joe when he demands to know what is going to happen to the “benefit” accorded to him, but has not been used up by December 20th…

…yes, it makes for more responsible usage, as well as more accountable employers/managers. Unless your benefit is managed by a health provider, who offers it at pre-paid non-refundable T&Cs, then surely, you should be able to walk up to accounts to get a report on your medicals for the quarter, half year. And naturally, you have to have a policy on unused medical. 

Ofcourse, am assuming that since its a benefit (loosely = a gift) that you have no plans to retain it. Unless ofcourse you are… (incase my boss reads this, i have to leave that hanging). Why would you want to retain it? You budgeted it, and therefore, unless you can justify significant unbudgeted expenditures for which unused cash can help out with, there is no sound reason to retain it.

Maybe there is… Lets see, cash for a company is good – can cover emergencies and currency fluctuations. Also, it can be used to boost budgets for the next financial period. It can be used as a top up for the same employee’s benefit, so next year they would access even better services. Can be used as a contribution to staff gratuity – without the company having to set aside another budget line. What else could we use that money for? Bonus!!! End of Year bonuses. Now thats not a bad one.

An educated guess, is most people would choose to get their un-used medical benefits as some kind of cash bonus at the end of the year. Because, cash is also good for the hard worker. Afterall, i wouldn’t be anywhere near this benefit if i wasnt working hard enough.

Personally, the most important thing is life. And as an employee, i am equally as disturbed and affected if the life threatened is one of my wife, my mother, my brother, or my house-help, afterall, she looks after the daughters my benefit is trying to cover. If my children’s nanny can’t access medical cover for fungus, my children are certainly going to be in hospital for something fungal. Prevention used to be better than cure, so until those “4 Biological Children” are  gotten, the one looking after the 2 is an important part of my immediate family – and i insist.

So, its time to ask that question again, Is your Medical Insurance a Benefit?

At a Wedding of an “Issa Massia” Believer

Green Brown and white Ribbons criss-cross the toasty taupaline, they are certainly no work of a professional decoartor, but there is something starker…one half of the congregation is made up of Issa Massia Believers. They are as distinct as aboriginals, as real as gypsies. Their women do not treat their hair and the wedding service morphs, intermittently, between sermons and typical wedding motions. 

The bridal party arrive in parts – the groom escorted by a ‘mobile choir’ reminiscent of the Charismatic Catholic Church, almost fox-trotting. The MC promises a sermon,in one of his n-part series. Everything he says registers in my theological memory, except he won’t say one thing explicitly: Jesus Christ. Instead they call him Issa – still, he is Lord of Lords and King over all. A very conservative group of people – my neighbour doesn’t know where they pray from. 

Now I hear something familiar, tis that choir again – and that can only be the Bride! I only pray her make-up doesn’t smudge let alone melt – but wait up, Issa Massia women do no Make-up! Pretty silky white dress, veiled innocence, I can understand why my muko is after such a jewel… 

…Now that both bride n groom are here, I guess we can start. But something else has gripped the crowd, and all i see is some indistinct activity near a Landcruiser. Apostle Prof. Christopher Besweri Kaswabuli is a tall and well built man. He is cutting sleek dark sunglasses and has arrived in a chauffered Toyota Landcruiser, wife-in-tow. He is the main celebrant, and from the look of things, carrys the airs of the spiritual head of this sect. He is smaaaarrt in cotton-white n certainly looks angelic… 

Back to the MC and his 4th part in a series – Preaching at the Wrong Time - The crowd seems bored n hungry (yours truly inclusive) and the choir has to sing for the preacherman to come. But this is no ordinary song, its a special song, laced with the Preacherman’s autobiography. From the song, I learn that he was born in 1939 and that he had a tough child hood. 1946 he started school and dropped out soon due to his parent’s poverty. 1963′s tough times led him to salvation and in 1965,under a tree, while in devotion received his calling…he started evangelism right away and has preached the world over…Thru challenges, scorn and all manner of persecution,he has persevered. 1975, while at duty, he was arrested n detained,only released at God’s Mercy. Yess! I have garnered all this fron a song. Ingenius! 

Listening to Kaswabuli, he’s got a commanding Kisoga baritone, and scanning thru the congregation, he sure commands a lot of respect. Time to listen…

(1 hr later, and in absolute disbelief)

This is the single most sustained attack on all religions, with the most lethargic mix of pride, self-justification and patronization. This man has not preached a single message since 145pm, rather has manned an exhibition of all manner of wrong/fault with all religious organizations, even using the local daily ‘Kamunye’ as justification of fraudulent acts of pastors. The non-sect crowd is so incessed that at one point,there was a chorus ‘we are tired’…to which, and quite expectedly,the preacherman has responded wit fire n brimstone!!! He clearly boasts of his own salvation…and his language and tonation lack discreetness n tact

I expected to learn about this sect,and what their core-values are. I expected to learn abt the foundations of their faith. Am afraid, the sustained attack on other religions is certainly no means to draw followers. He has not spared pastor’s clothes (calling them cheap road-side suits) and shoes (dubbed bi-shoes, ask a luganda speaker next to you). Perhaps what breaks my heart even more, is his attack on the simple confession prayer – which he describes as senseless parrotting. He seems to enjoy a percieved praise from his congregation, and constantly boasts how pastors fear him – I think even if he meant respect, his tone n language certainly sends fear. He clearly hates the Catholic Church and makes reference of the Pope’s suit at the ICC.

Thanks to this gospel, the heavens have now unleashed their payload…and frankly, its more refreshing than it knows!

This is the juicy part…Nuptials! And, as fate would have it, we shall have more of Mr. Preacherman.

Preacherman rubbishes wedding rings,insists tis (and they, are) barbaric. He insists,he is not here to unite the couple, just to bless them. He says the day they proposed is the day they were united. He insists that rings were not there in the garden of eden, and only started with pagan religion. An incessed lady retorts – even clothes were not there yet u wear them! Whoever does that (gives rings) is fuel for hell… this is very phenomenal, I can’t help wonder why this man is not on NTV’s ‘Tuwaye’…yet.

Preacherman, flanked by his london-based son and escorted by choir, has walked to bridal tent. this is after asking both sets of parents if they release their child into the marriage institution. He walked over so he could lead them back for a paparrazzi moment. One of the highlights of the day, the groom is speaking…The groom’s speech ends with a classic, Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you Mrs. Grace Mujisha…his vows were simple, memorable, sincere and included a critical message for all marriages – leave and cleave -
This man revels in his acts, for the second  time,he says how he’s never insulted or beaten his wife. Too perfect for earth,huh? he says he gives no marriage certificates because Adam and Eve got none. He insists, what unites man n woman is the spirit of God. As he prays, he asks all who wish for his blessing to go to the couple, and I must admit,my hesitance has the better of me. I do hear the words of his prayers, and I identify with them,but I can’t get my spirit to agree with his – atleast on account of what I have seen and heard. I do sincerely wish the couple the best of the future, and all God’s blessings BUT I have to hand it to Kaswabuli – he is quite a mental handful.

Now I have to decide whether to stay to partake of the meal he is going to be asked to bless….despite my hunger pangs!

The rest of the afternoon went on without incident, except the queue at the preacherman’s feet. In typical community style, the food was more than enough, and if i had forgotten, there was no glamour in form of maids and little kids.

This was supposed to be a wedding, i sure got more than i bargained for, but i was happy to have come. For such a time as this, am happy to know, I will not be a follower of Issa Massia – at the very least, not under the leadership of Kaswabuli – no pun intended!

Would Government of Uganda use Ubuntu?

Much of this article, has been shamelessly lifted from Mark Shuttleworth’s Blog because, am not sure if they would read it there, perhaps am over confident that they would read it here! So here it goes…along with my rumblings

Governments are making increasingly effective use of Ubuntu in large-scale projects, from big data to little schools. There is growing confidence in  open source in government quarters, and growing sophistication in how they engage with it.

But adopting open source is not just about replacing one kind of part with another. Open source is not just a substitute for shrink-wrapped proprietary software. It’s much more malleable in the hands of industry and users, and you can engage with it very differently as a result.  I’m interested in hearing from thought leaders in the civil service on ways they think governments could get much more value with open source, by embracing that flexibility. For example, rather than one-size-fits-all software, why can’t we deliver custom versions of Ubuntu for different regions or countries or even departments and purposes? Could we enable the city government of Frankfurt to order PC’s with the Ubuntu German Edition pre-installed?

ICT Audit Volunteers Appeal

Hello there,

I would like to, starting with myself; and my workplace, volunteer (and thereby source) services, skill and time, from people who would like to put their massive experience around ICTs to form a team that is willing to offer pro-bono ICT Audit services, as a way for the ICT community to develop each other.

Whereas I know this is probably someone’s bread and butter, I can only look at the ICT Community and more so our own LUG to find persons who I know will willingly and happily give of 2 half-day Saturdays, to work together to help me review the ICT structure, functions and systems here at IHSU.

Ideally, those people would have shared experiences spread among ICT functions, vital for a University such as Wireless Systems, Websites/Intranets, Server Administration, Networking and Administration.

I would like to do a strategic plan for IHSU’s ICT Department for the next few years, and a comprehensive ICT Audit would go a long way in providing rich input for a document and plan of this nature. For that, I need Alex Kisakye to lead a volunteered team.

What do you think?

Off my head, this team, could then use this experience to ‘audit’ other Universities (if willing) and/or companies that are heavily (or greatly intent on) using Free and Open Source Software.

Hoping to appeal to the entire ICT community.

Leadership Of Virtual Communities

(Notes from an Open Session, held at IDLELO 5, Abuja Nigeria, 19th March 2012.)

Working with people we do not know, or see, only talk to them virtually. Nnenna, introduces her self and talks about nnenna.org, a privately run consultancy that has no office and yet maintains a full-blown services for its clients. Work happens in the Virtual Realm. Meeting and working virtually has the advantage of running the least administrative costs.

She is not alone, and as the group warms up to the discussion, we learn about a systems administrator, events manager and a systems administrator. Here are some experiences of virtual workers:

Evelyn Namara shares her experience as a virtual systems administrator, who worked on skype, dropbox and docs, while working with Tactical Technology Collectives (TTC) in Kampala, Uganda.

18.5 yrs as a University Librarian from Federal University of Nigeria, another gentleman is intent on merging virtual library with the manual physical library. He is convinced the ICT Sector does have the solution he needs…

UNESCO Abuja’s National Program Officer for Communications and Information – Oluseyi Soremekun is also eager to see if their information needs can be made Virtual. He contends that the power of information and its access to, by Nigerians is a great need and that ‘virtualization’ of work might have to be a solution.

KONY 2012 – Take 2

So i have watched the rest of it, and am now back. At about 14.00 and the next 20 seconds, its clear America will not get involved if their Security or Financial Stability is not at stake. So what? Can we fault them for that? Or is it because we hallucinate in the same subconscious naivety most of Africa had when Obama ascended the presidency. Even then, we grapple with reality and take it out on Americans?

I have been part of Watoto Child Care Ministries, and i was fortunate to be a part of a team that has toured Canada and US. Simple, the mission, tell them about our plight, and ask for help. When we (Watoto Church) didn’t know how to solve the crisis of a parent-less nation, Gary M Skinner, did the same thing that this young man has done. Find a genius way to tell the story, and be humble enough to ask for help. To this day, some of the first children rescued by Watoto are now employed, most are at University, and they are giving back. Back to the cause that rescued them, so that cause can rescue others like them.

We didn’t fold our hands over half hearted efforts, and though Gary, originally from Canada was the brainchild, Ugandans, have now picked it up, and run with it. But the message is still outside there. And guess what, the help keeps coming.